


Thicker than a Golem

by Cloud_Lightning



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 19:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16024670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: Her family, especially her brother, always said that she would not realize what love is even if it slaps her in the face.Or, the one where the Warden “accidentally” flirt with everyone.





	Thicker than a Golem

**Author's Note:**

> and here i jumped into the new fandom....anyway, this actually happened to my warden...i may or may not flirt with the three of them, an honestly if the female warden can romance morrigan, this would happen as well

They were on their way to Denerim to find Brother Genitivi, no one really knew whether the Urn was real or not. They were desperate, and they didn’t have much time. The Blight was upon them, the Blight _was_ already upon them and yet Loghain was busy playing war with the nobles over the throne. But even so, they thank The Maker (or to be more precise just the “religious” lot like Morrigan described them) that they still had a chance to rest. After what happened in the Tower of Magi and how they helped Connor from The Fade they didn’t really sleep well. As if they had a good and decent sleep before all of those, but what happened to them made it worse.

So it wasn’t really a surprise when everyone was still up late at night and sitting next to each other near the fire camp, even Morrigan since she usually left after dinner. Only The Maker, Morrigan, and Elissa knew what The Warden said that made Morrigan reluctantly join the rest of the party for dinner one night. The Warden was really persuasive. After that, Morrigan never missed dinner with the rest of the companions even though she went back to her own tent. According to her, it was more time for harassing Alistair so she didn’t want to miss it.

It was half a lie, obviously, even Oghren can see it through.

The Warden was one hell of a cook. She said she learned it from the cooks in her castle before. Usually, after she was done with her training, she would go to the kitchen to feed her mabari. And she would listen to the bustle of the kitchen while eating.

“So, you just drop by to the kitchen after your training?” Alistair asked one night.

“Yeah, why?” The Warden said as she poured more soup for Sten. “After this is all over, I will bake you cookies myself,” she said to Sten.

“You are too kind,” Sten said.

“Still sweating after training?” Morrigan raised her eyebrow.

Elissa laughed and shook her head. “Maker, no. Well, I mean, few times,” she tilted her head to the side. “Nan usually throw a tantrum if she sees me sweating all over her kitchen and kick me out.”

“Especially if you are sweating with someone else,” Morrigan said as she sips her tea.

Leliana choked on her food, Wynne, the one that was sitting on Leliana’s left side patted her back.

“Why would I be sweating with… Oh,” Elissa blushed. “No, that never happened.”

“You never get caught or you never had sex before?”

Elissa almost drops the bowl if it wasn’t for her fast reflex.

“Morrigan, can you stop asking about the Warden’s sex life?” Leliana hissed.

“Why I thought you love it?” the mage simply smirked, making Leliana growled.

“Well, I never consider kitchen before,” Elissa finally started eating. “But good to know your reference for sex, Morrigan. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Oghren leered while Morrigan’s smirk getting wider.

“So is there any story behind each recipe you learned?” Zevran suddenly asked.

“Well, no, not really,” Elissa shook her head. “All the cooks are surprisingly nice to me, I wonder why.”

“Maybe because you treated them different,” Wynne said. “They wanted to repay your kindness.”

“I’m not so sure about that, grandma,” Alistair snorted.

“Well, it was really hard not to be kind to someone like you,” Zevran raised his glass.

The Warden smiled and toast with Zevran. “Such a sweet talker.”

“I don’t know the traditions of you human,” Oghren hiccupped. “But In Orzammar, usually the noble rarely interact with their servants.”

“It’s pretty much the same,” Alistar and Leliana said while Elissa nodded her head.

“It’s also not common for the women to train using a weapon,” Elissa smirked. “Yet, here I am. I’m lucky because my father allowed me to train; he knew that I would sneak around behind his back to study the sword and blade. So, why not just do it properly? Even though it's driving my mother insane, but hey, even my mother was pretty good at a fight.”

“May your parents rest in peace,” Alistair raised his glass.

“Well we know you fight like a mad Bronto, your parents did well on that,” Oghren hiccupped.

“I don’t fight like a mad Bronto,” Elissa laughed as she feeds her mabari.

There were collective murmurs from the group, making the Grey Warden gasped loudly.

“You guys think I fight like a mad Bronto?!”

“Well, you did always charging directly,” Alistair shrugged.

“This is why I’m wary when you asked me to teach you the assassin skill,” Zevran chuckled.

“For a rogue, you sure love running directly towards the enemy,” Leliana said. “Remember that one time when you jumped over an Ogre and controlling the Ogre to fight the other darkspawns?”

“As my memory recall, it was more than one time,” Shale huffed.

“Especially when she made the Brontos fight each other!” Oghren laughed.

“’twas amusing,” Morrigan said happily.

“It’s not amusing when you hit me with your lightning,” Elissa sassed.

“Still amusing.”

“Yeah, Morrigan, stop trying to burn us with your magic,” Alistair whined. “You need to control your magic, just like Wynne.”

“’tis not my problem,” Morrigan crossed her legs.

And so the group fell into a heated debate about Morrigan ‘accidentally’ trying to kill them using her magic.

The Grey Warden sighed deeply. “I’m starting to question my decision.”

“About what?” Leliana, the one that sat next to the Grey Warden, asked.

“About what happens if I didn’t have you guys,” Elissa smiled tenderly. “I could not imagine a better group to have for fighting the Blight with me.”

“That’s… That’s really sweet of you.”

“So I’ve been told,” Elissa winked as she wiped the corner of Leliana’s mouth with her thumb. “You got something there.”

Leliana blushed and mumbled her thanks, while Elissa nodded and join the group conversation, now they were talking about Zevran and his obsession with leather.

The soft glow from the campfire illuminating the Warden’s hard features, making it soft and even more beautiful. They both had red hair, but the Warden’s was redder than Leliana’s. It was like the raging fire, making you all warm and fuzzy.

Or maybe it was because Leliana had a feeling for the Warden. Damn it.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t you think Shale should stay outside?” Alistair asked when they almost reach Denerim city gate.

“And leave her all alone in the cold?” Elissa took off her helmet. “Don’t worry, Shale already agreed not to speak while we’re in the city.”

“Wow, you managed to silence the golem?” Morrigan chuckled.

“And I always want to silence the Witch of the Wild,” Shale sighed happily.

“You can do that by going to the Fade and find my Mother’s spirit,” Morrigan titled her head to the side. “But I’m sure my Mother does not have a spirit whatsoever.”

“But for real,” Alistair whispered. “How did you do that?”

“She said it was a thank you for giving her Herbert. I already told her it wasn’t necessary but she insisted.” Elissa tried to take off her hair tie, but it stuck. “Too bad though, I was planning to sneak her inside the city.”

“Let me help you,” Leliana said. Both of them stopped walking, while the others keep on moving. The Warden’s hair was soft, seriously how can she keep her hair this soft in the middle of nowhere? Briefly, Leliana wondered what would it feels like to actually touch the Warden’s hair and just ‘accidentally’ brush it. Leliana gave the hair tie to the Warden. “There, all done.”

“Thank you, Leliana,” Elissa smiled as she brushed her long and wavy using her hands until it was completely free and between her trusted dual swords. Her red hair looks like glowing thanks to the magic effect from the swords.

“You wanted to sneak Shale inside the city?” Leliana asked.

“Yes, that would be cool,” Elissa laughed. “Zevran knew an underground way to the city, but Wynne reminded us that with me and Alistair being a Grey Warden were enough attraction for us, we can’t add it more with sneaking in a golem.”

“But it would be fine if we bring Shale into the city?” Leliana couldn’t understand the Warden’s logic. But then again, the Warden already did some questionable decisions.

“As long as she’s not talking, it will be fine.”

“Let’s hope so.”

 

* * *

 

“Alright,” The Warden put down her empty glass back on the table. “So now we must split up and find any useful information about Brother Genitivi, and also helping people.”

“Sure, let’s start,” Alistair looked over to his right; Morrigan was still reading Flemeth’s grimoire. “Can you stop reading?”

“But I was just getting to the best part,” Morrigan said. “Apparently there was a magic to make a penis become larger. I never understand why men really obsess with a larger penis.”

The group fell into an uncomfortable silence.

“You know, sometimes there’s a time when you need to keep what you’re reading to yourself,” Elissa said, unable to stand the heavy silence.

“Why would your mother…,” Alistair gulped. “You know what, don’t answer that.”

“Do you want me to put that spell for you, Alistair?”

“WHAT, NO! Stay away from my penis!” Alistair screamed as he stood up and moved away as far as possible from Morrigan, which was standing behind Elissa.

The mage chuckled.

Elissa cleared her throat. “Anyway, let’s begin. Wynne and Shale, please go to the Chantry. Ask everyone there about the city’s situation and also the Chantry’s. Oghren and Alistair, I overheard someone talking about strange voices from an empty house somewhere around the market, please find out about that.”

“Wait, why would we look over an empty house?” Alistair asked.

“It could be Brother Genitivi’s house,” Elissa said without looking at Alistair. “We need to be sure, and you can also ask people about Brother Genitivi.”

“I’ll do the talking, Oghren,” Alistair said.

“Hey, fine by me.”

“Morrigan and Sten, I trust you to help the Mage’s Collective.”

“An unusual combination, Elissa,” Morrigan finally closed the grimoire. “Interesting.”

“Just don’t burn the city down or make Sten angry,” Elissa said sternly.

“Fine, fine. But it was because you allowed me to perform a ritual at you.”

“What ritual?” The group asked.

“A strength enchantment,” Elissa shrugged. “But I didn’t feel anything.”

“Which means I failed,” Morrigan huffed. “My Mother wrote the magic using her own language; I need to understand it first.”

“You let her enchant yourself using a magic she didn’t understand?” Wynne asked, worried.

“It wasn’t the first time,” Elissa said. “Anyway, let’s move on. Where are we?”

“All that’s left are you, Leliana, Zevran, and Shepard.”

The mabari woofed when she heard her name being called.

“Alright,” Elissa looked over to Zevran and then Leliana. “We’re going to mingle in this tavern to find information about the city, and also the nobles.”

“That’s cheating!”

“It’s not cheating, Alistair. Since you came to Goldana’s house, people notice you,” Elissa said. “I’m sorry I have to use that card, Alistair.”

Alistair sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Alright then, we don’t want the nobles to find out that the bastard son is around, right.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s alright, really,” Alistair scratched his head. “I thought with not talking about it, it will simply dissapear. But it’s not, and I’m still the bastard son.”

As everyone prepared to leave, Zevran pulled Elissa to the side. “Can I go somewhere after we done asking people in this tavern?”

“Where do you want to go?” Elissa asked.

“The Pearl.”

Elissa raised her eyebrow. “Zevran, this is really not the time…”

“Not for that,” Zevran chuckled. “Although I won’t mind.”

“Get to the point.”

“I want to meet with someone. I heard she’s currently in Denerim.”

“A friend of yours?”

“Well, not really…” Zevran shook his head. “She can teach you the duelist skill; you’ve been asking me that, haven’t you.”

“Oh right!” Elissa clapped her hands. “Alright, we go there later.”

“She can teach you another skill if you want,” Zevran smiled as he patted Elissa’s shoulder.

“What?”

 

* * *

 

“Can someone please use their magic to bring back the Griffin?” Alistair groaned after they finally made a camp to rest. He was laying on the ground, too tired to move.

They already had information about the whereabouts of Brother Genitivi, and now they were heading to the City of Haven. Not one of them ever heard such place existed. They knew it very much could be a trap, but they need to do it. It was their only lead to save Arl Eamon.

“Baby,” Morrigan kicked Alistair’s shoulder.

“Where is Elissa?” Leliana asked when she realized the Grey Warden was nowhere to be found.

“She’s currently taking a bath with Shepard,” Wynne said.

“Ok so now that she’s not here,” Alistair got up and sat on the ground, he swatted Morrigan’s knee when the mage hit his head with her right knee. “Can we talk about how Elissa always flirt with all of us? Or it is just me?”

“No, I noticed that too,” Leliana said softly.

“Did she even realize that she _actually_ flirting?” Morrigan raised her eyebrow. “Knowing her, she would probably think that she was just being nice to us.”

No one spoke, too busy with their own speculation.

“I think,” Zevran said. “She didn’t realize that she was flirting with us.”

“What makes you said that?” Alistair asked.

“Zevran…” Leliana warned. “You’re not going to…”

“Hey, what is going on?” Alistair looked over between Leliana and Zevran.

“When we’re in Denerim, we went to The Pearl-”

Alistair blinked. “Seriously?!”

“Let me finish,” Zevran said.

“Oh Maker,” Leliana hid her face behind her hands.

“There’s an acquaintance of mine there, she goes by the name of Isabela. Elissa always asked me to teach her the duelist skill, but since I’m not capable so I brought her to meet with Isabela.”

“Zevran, please stop,” Leliana begged.

“No, what happened next?!” Alistair and Morrigan said at the same time.

“After Elissa learned the skill, Isabela asked me to… join in her cabin,” Zevran stopped talking. “And she asked Elissa to come with us.”

“Zevran, we already agreed to never speak of this again!”

“Wait… the four of you…” Alistair said slowly. “By Andresta’s ashes! What have you done?!”

“Nothing!” Leliana yelled while Zevran chuckled.

“Explain nothing,” Morrigan commanded.

“Apparently, Elissa thought Isabela was asking us to beat someone on Isabela’s ship, and not having a foursome.”

Leliana groaned and hid her face behind her hands again.

“What, how, what?” Alistair blinked a few times.

“I always knew it’s thick,” Shale sighed. “But it seems it’s thicker than a golem. That is not a compliment.”

Oghren was laughing loudly; Wynne looked uncomfortable, while Sten said nothing.

“I remember I heard some rumors about the Cousland’s,” Bodahn said.

The group screamed in a union, they forget that Bodahn and Sandal always sat with them when someone was taking a bath at the lake near their cart.

“Enchantment!”

“What rumors?” Alistair asked.

“They said that Lady Elissa of the Cousland family is quite a charmer,” Bodahn said. “And how she was very quick to change her attention to someone else.”

“Yikes,” Alistair mumbled. “And why you’re telling us now?”

“Well with all the darkspawns looming, rumors like this tend to slip my mind, you know,” Bodahn chuckled. “I think that rumor was wrong,” Bodahn said. “Well, in a sense it was right, Ser Elissa is a charmer, but she didn’t realize that. She thought she was just being nice.”

The group murmured their agreement.

“She patted my head once,” Leliana mumbled.

“That’s good, isn’t?” Alistair raised his eyebrow.

“No, it’s not good, Alistair,” Leliana grumbled. “I thought she’s going to kiss me, but no, she patted my head! What in the Maker’s name was that?”

The group laughed.

“Well it’s better,” Morrigan huffed. “She told me that I have a nice body in a really polite manner after she saw me naked. Who does that, just said that and left as if nothing happened?”

Alistair chuckled and patted Morrigan’s knee. “Looks like frontal attack also failed, huh?”

“Did you even tell her that you want to have sex with her?” Leliana asked, disbelieved.

“Yes, I told her that I want to lay with her,” Morrigan huffed. “But she said laying naked on the dirt was uncomfortable, so we should head back to the camp first.”

A beat, then.

“And then she complimented my body in a really polite way.”

“Oh, was that when you said you were falling asleep next to her while reading you Mother’s grimoire?” Leliana asked.

“Yes, because she didn’t want to get back to my tent,” Morrigan shrugged. “And I’m too tired to seduce her after answering her questions about my past.”

“Yeah, she usually does that.” Everyone nodded her head.

“She asked about your past, and suddenly you were pouring out all of your secrets,” Leliana said.

“I always compliment her,” Alistair said. “But she always compliments me back. I mean it’s hard enough for me to gather my courage to actually compliment her,” he sighed deeply.

Zevran nodded his head.

They heard Shepard’s barking from afar, and true enough the mabari was running towards the camp. With Elissa not far behind.

“Should we talk about this to her?” Alistair asked.

“And what, ask her which one she chooses?” Leliana scoffed.

“Well, I think we can cut that to the chase,” Alistair smiled sadly.

Morrigan huffed. “I hate to admit it, but for once Alistair is right.”

“Oh wow, a compliment from the Witch of the Wild herself,” Alistair clutched his chest. “I’m honored.”

“I don’t understand,” Leliana said.

“She’s completely smitten with you,” Zevran said.

“No way.”

“It’s true,” Wynne finally spoke up.

“What?”

“I was,” Wynne sighed. “I asked her to stay away from you.”

“Why would you do that?” Leliana asked a little hurt. “But wait, she didn’t…”

“Yes,” Wynne smiled. “I think it was her own way to tell me that no matter what I told her, or anyone else, she made her choice. Alas, I think it is better if you ask her yourself.”

Before anyone could speak, Elissa said.

“Ask me about what?”

“Did you realize that you were flirting with the four of us?” Morrigan raised her eyebrow as she gesture to the people she meant.

“Morrigan!” Alistair and Leliana yelled in unison.

“Oh hush, it's better this way.”

Elissa didn’t say anything for a few moments until she sighed loudly and wiped her forehead with her washcloth. “I… Are you guys going to be mad if I say…”

“No, not really,” Alistair said as he got up. “I mean, a little disappointed, yes, but I know now you’re just being nice. And hey, at least we’re still a friend. Right?”

“Of course, Alistair,” Elissa smiled. “I’m so sorry. I just, I didn’t want to make you guys upset or sad, so I…”

The Templar turned Grey Warden just laughed. “It’s okay. Now, it was done, I better go to sleep. I’m really tired after that long walk.”

“But you really need to learn the difference between being nice and actually asking someone to have a foursome with you,” Zevran chuckled.

“Maker, you’re not going to let that go didn’t you?” Elissa hid her face behind her washcloth.

“What was Isabela’s reaction anyway?” Alistair asked, intrigued.

“She kissed my cheek and patted my head,” Elissa mumbled shyly.

“Pity,” Morrigan said. “Well, I better go back to my own tent and finish reading my Mother’s grimoire.”

“You do remember you already moved your tent closer to us, right?”

“I remember, Alistair.”

As the rest of the group head back to their respective tent, Leliana sat still on her spot, unmoving and not making any eye contact with Elissa.

When it was only the two of them, Elissa spoke.

“Are you… mad at me?”

“What, Maker no! How could I be mad at you!” Leliana jumped, she didn’t realize that Elissa already sat next to her.

“Well, you didn’t… I mean…”

“I want to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“Did you like me?”

“Of course.”

“Really? You’re not saying this just because you’re being nice, aren’t you.”

“No, Leliana, no,” Elissa took Leliana’s right hand and kissed the back of her hand. “I like you, really like you.”

The two of them were looking at each other shyly; Elissa was still holding Leliana’s hand.

“Oh just kiss already!” Oghren yelled.

The group murmured in agreement from inside their tent.

And so they did.

Softly, and slowly.

Until Shepard barked loudly, making the two of them jumped in shock.

“Right, it’s my time to guard the camp,” Elissa licked her lips.

“I’m sure the others won’t mind to replace you,” Leliana whispered. “My bedroll is big enough for the two of us.”

“Then I shouldn’t keep you outside then,” Elissa smirked.

“For Bronto’s testicle! She wants to have sex with you!” Oghren yelled angrily.

“I know that, Oghren! It was a joke!” Elissa yelled back. “I’m sorry, bad timing huh.”

Leliana laughed and bumped their forehead. “No, it’s perfect,” she whispered against Elissa’s lips before kissing it softly.

**Author's Note:**

> also im really sorry if morrigan is kinda out of character.... im @nightwhite13 on tumblr if you wanna say hi


End file.
